Monday, August 12, 2013

While Waiting In The CT Scan Room of The Hospital

I fan through a magazine 

noticing a model's

bold red lips kissing the 


stripes of a lollypop  


when I realize under the

 hot white lights 

of the

CT scan room

that the blaze of contrasts

in the photo


with my ability 

to focus
which make me slightly dizzy



the white and aqua

on the next page


are mirrored

 by beach vignettes


while serene scenes 


home and garden




the colors of this hour

to join 

at a horizon 


and then as 

the doctor comes in with 

the results of the 

second mammography 

which warranted concern

it's helpful to observe



unites with 

 the velvet darkness

of an image 
to make

comforting impression.



(The results were negative - this is a poem to describe the challenge of the moment to see light in the potential darkness)


Nancy {at} powellbrower at home said...

bless you dear Anita. I hope everything is going to be ok and that it's a false alarm. your words are so comforting, and your choice of images sublime.
Hugs to you.
xo Nancy

Simply LKJ said...

Praying for you Anita! Hope all turns out well.

Elizabeth@ Pine Cones and Acorns said...

Oh my friend, I hope and pray that all is well. When will you know?

FleaingFrance Brocante Society said...

Sending you lots and lots of love and support. Take good care and be kind to yourself during this process. You touch many lives and I hope that we are able to return the favor, just a bit, today.

Mary Palumbo Collings said...

Wishing you good health Anita.
Ciao bella, Mary

Anonymous said...

good grief!
well i am saying
prayers too...
and keeping
big hug my friend!!!
love me xoxo

Nantucket the good life at Prince Snow Farm said...

Sending love across the miles my friend.

Michelle May-The Raspberry Rabbits said...

Oh honey!!!! Please keep me posted! Light, love and prayers to you dearest.
I received your card today and thought about you and Ruben walking and counting bunnies. Keep those happy thoughts in your head during this scary time.
Again, light, love and many prayers coming your way.

NotesFromAbroad said...

Keeping positive thoughts and sending good health wishes to you !
WAiting to hear how relieved you are that it is nothing serious and you are going to Tango all weekend !
much love and good wishes, C

Karen Albert said...

So, so glad to hear that you are alright Anita and you know I have been through similar. I wish I could have been there with you my friend!

2013 Designer Series

Sandy at You May Be Wandering said...

Oh Anita...what a stressful experience! I was terribly worried until I saw your note at the bottom...thank goodness all is well! Many hugs to you, my friend! xoxox

Kelly said...

Dearest Anita, I am HOPEFUL for you as I keep you in my prayers. Sending you a HUG sweetie! Know that MANY have you in their HEARTS! Stay POSITIVE and STRONG!!!<3

SizzleandZoom said...

Beautifully written. Thankful that all came out all right.

Red Rose Alley said...

Oh my precious Anita. I was wondering what was going on with my beloved friend until I saw the print at the bottom. So glad to hear all is well with you, dear. It must have been such a scary experience for you. May God wrap around you with His love and comfort.

Love you,

Linda said...

My fingers reach for the keyboard,
I am lost for words. My thoughts are with you.


Susan said...

Dear Anita,
It has been a while since I checked in here, but for some reason I came by tonight. So glad I did. You are in my prayers, dear one. Stay strong. Our heavenly Father has not let you out of His sight.
Blessings always...

Createology said...

May you find peace and health in the CT scan results. My prayers and healing energy for you dear...

kerrie of sea cottage said...

Beautifully written. I am praying. Listen to the voice that know ms everything about you. And trust. Psalm 139

Leslie said...

Thank goodness the second test came back negative! You had me scared for a second! Wonderful and thought provoking post Anita. I will send this to my Mom. My father has been suffering so .. with dementia and Leukemia and is nearing the end of his life. Hospice is with him now and we are a strong family. You are right. We must always see the contrast .. and the potential for good. We ALL go through life and hit these moments that humble us. Good for you for staying calm and sharing this wonderfully optimistic post. xxleslie

Pura Vida said...

You make even the fear poetic. So glad you are ok sweets

hi-d said...

Oh Anita!!! My goodness...I had no idea. It sounds like all is okay, right? That the results are negative? You will be in my prayers dear friend! Love to you!!!!!!!! Heidi

Art and Sand said...

I hate those call back appointments where so much worry takes over your life and then the wonderful news that it was nothing makes me feel guilty that I am one of the lucky ones.

I am so glad that you are one of the lucky ones.

And, as I sit here with your music turned down low so Lulu won't awaken, I am mad at myself and my parents for not continuing with my piano lessons. Oh, how I would love to be able to create wonderful sounds on a piano.

Thanks also for making me look beyond the photo to what isn't there.

Victoria Sayer said...

Yeah...scary stuff. I am so glad the news came back all good. YAY!

I love the pic of the umbrella, by the way. :-)


Palomasea said...

Dear one...only an artist like you could create something beautiful out of that experience...bless you...and thank GOD all was good....
Love you so.

It's me said...

O no !!!...for the first time in all those years i know you...i do not know what to write !!! poor baby !!....please mail me if you will !!....and tell me the whole story....please prayers are with you darling...x !!

nélinha said...

chère Anita, je suis navrée d'apprendre que tu as quelques soucis de santé!!!!!
En espérant que les résultats de ton examen ne soient pas trop alarmant en attendant je pense bien fort à toi
Sending you lots and lots of love and support
a frencn kiss

Molly The Wally said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers Anita. We pray all will be well. Take care and try and be strong.
Much love and good wishes coming your way.

Incipient Wings said...

whew!!! what a super stressful time it must have been for you!!
thank goodness you're OK!!!!
happy happy dance for you:)

Martina said...

Dearest Anita, are you OK? This sounds a bit worrying to me, please drop me a little note. Am thinking of you and sending yo uLOVE and blessings! xox

The enchanted home said...

I sure hope my sweet friend that all is OK??? Only you could take something as nerve wrecking as waiting for results of a mammogram and turn it into beautiful prose coupled with the perfect pictures.

Keeping you in my prayers.....beautiful as always!

Burlap Luxe said...

I stand in faith that God will bring you through this, prayers my dearest of dear ones!
Your photos are beautiful, music as well and you my beautiful friend listen to his small voice he will only give as much as you can handle at one time.
Praying, praying, praying.


Creations by Marie Antoinette and Edie Marie said...

Bonjour Ma Belle -

I am so so happy that all is well with you! Your poem is a great expression of how you and many many others feel during those moments. Some Happy Endings, some not. I pray yours are always happy!

Blessings & love to you and dear Ruben

The Dutchess said...

I am not going to comment...I'm just going to be there..xoxo..Always

Jade said...

Oh Anita, what a joy, that everything is ok. now!! What a great post, my dear friend........I´ll keep it in my mind and in my heart! Hope that the hard times are over now and that you can enjoy the wonderful summer days?!!! Wish you health and joy and sun in your heart!!!

With love & hugs, Jade

Mrs Black the shoppe keeping cat said...

Keeping everything crossed for you that it will be ok. You always post such beautiful images, I am there, on that serene beach .... or maybe in that rainy scene.
Minerva x

victorian parlor II said...

I will pray for you dearest Anita. I hope all is well.



DREAMS ON 34th STREET ~ French Bread & Family said...

Negative. How beautiful you make that word sound.

Heather Lindstrom said...

Anita dear~How poignantly you describe the 'breathlessness' of these kinds of moments. As always a moving and riveting post that draws me in fully. I checked 3 times and was thrilled to see the good news at the bottom of your post. What a relief my lovely friend. Life must feel lighter and brighter today.
Thanks again for your lovely and kind comments on Stylemindchic. I am blessed that we have connected through blog world lovely friend. You inspire me.....
xx, Heather

millefeuilles said...

Dearest Anita,

I am sitting in my hotel bedroom (the colour of the sea) on the island of Belle Ile en Mer. There are tears pricking my eyes; tears of relief now that I have read that all is well with you.

My thoughts are winging their way from this tranquil island to your hopefully now peaceful mind.



Jemma said...


Such a moving and powerful post-you have captured the moment,second and hour with such detail and clarity, through your poetry.
So thankful your results were negative.
Warm thoughts-

Violetta Cordes-Medvedeva said...


When I road your beautiful made post...I has a dubble feeling: at first-how beautiful is this music....but after this melody I can hear the worring:(((

Oh,my...........I praying for you,I praying for you,I praying for you!
HOPE SO much that those scan was mistake....

You are absolutely wonderful person,with you positive mind,your great and so powerful mind!
It must coming GOOD.It must coming GOOD. It must coming GOOD!

LOVE you,

YONKS said...

Phew, you had me worried there. You should have put that last tiny line in font 150 bold or something with a huge yahooooooooo at the end!
Stay well dear friend!
Much love

Jeri Landers said...

Are you all right darlin??! I am hoping I percieved the last line correctly and things ended in a positive note!

DolceDreams said...

i felt such relief reading the fine print at the bottom...having been in the same situation before, your poem and images captured the emotions to a "T"...

"Create Beauty" said...

Beautifully said....
there is such a helplessness
felt at times, and we can't even
feel the One who holds us.

Worry is such a strong negative force and our creative minds really start galloping with it.

Medical tests may be the only time we take joy in the word "negative"!

Thanking God with you
that your test came out good!!!!!

Love you and your lovely words.
~ Violet

Barbara said...

Dear Anita I was so worried for you and very relieved to read ‘the small print’ Thank goodness everything is OK, sending love and hugs dear friend. xx

Catherine Robinson said... simply the best word for your ears...always such a worrying time...your poetry, is as ever beautiful as are you, dear Anita.
With love

pilliwiggins3 said...

This is the first time I have visited your blog in over a year. What drew me here today?
I think it must be the kindred spirit thing...
On reading this of post I first sat in shocked silence, trying to fathom...
And then I smiled at your words :) You find beauty, poetry everywhere, in everything. Such an exeptional artist you are!
How I want to reach across the land and aqua blue sea...
Do you have an email on this site?

You are (always) in my thoughts and prayers.
Your friend (Peace Lily's Mum) in a little little cottage in England xxx

Violetta Cordes-Medvedeva said...

I am so happy for you,Anita!!!

Many warm hugs to you,

Style Diary Of A Fashion Fanatic said...

Dearest Anita!!!!
I hope you are OK!!!! I am praying for you and thinking of you!!!!! Please keep me informed!!!!
You always have such a gift of weaving beautiful photos and words together.....
Thinking of you and sending tons of well wishes, hugs, and love my dear, dear friend,
Shannon xoxo

Down by the sea said...

I'm so glad that the second results were negative. The same happened to me recently so I know exactly how you were feeling. I was OK too thank goodness.
Sarah x

Deborah said...

Anita I'm so happy to hear that you are okay.
Knowing that you know The Light of the World...makes all the difference in light and in darkness.
All my love & warm hugs to you sweet friend xo

Deborah xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Love that opening quote, love every word...and the colors, well, you know aqua is the center of my heart. Although...lavender has been whispering my name lately.
Peace, love.

Anonymous said...


Kristien62 said...

Anita- such a beautiful poem for such a heart-wrenching experience. I went through the same, this time last year and you captured the moment exquisitely. I am so happy for you that your outcome was negative. Mine, originally, was not as happy, but with excellent treatment and loving care, I am, at last, in a positive place.

Bonnie said...

Anita, As I read your post I was taken back many years ago when I had such a scare. Your words, your images are perfect. I am so happy everything turn out well. Holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs dear lady.

Sarah said...

Anita, the wait is sometimes the most difficult part. So glad the news second time around was good. I've been there, the waiting, but in the end all was good. Your poetic look at this unnerving experience is yet another window into your beautiful soul. ~ Sarah

Ms. K @ Write On Thyme said...

So glad to know that everything is well! And you are writing! Never a fun experience but one of life's many. Thinking of you!

hi-d said...

Hello Anita,

Whew! I am so glad to hear that all turned out well. That must have been scary. You are brave though! Thanks for sharing this with us.


Queen Of The Armchair aka Dzintra Stitcheries said...

Oh Dearest, Alarm Bells going off here!!! Sending Prayers, Love, Blessings and Reiki to you that all is well....Also Healing Thoughts reach out to you....Much Love and a Great Big Hug to you, Dzintra xoxoxoxo

Pam @ over50feeling40 said...

So you are alright? I hope so much, Anita, that all is well. I will pray for you nevertheless and hope for the best. Beautiful post to cover your sentiments in the moment. Blessings!

♥ Mary Janes TEAROOM said...

Oh my goodness Anita...this must have been such a worrying time for you and I'm so relieved to read that your results were negative ...As always, you have a very special way of expressing yourself lovely friend...
Sending you love and a big hug,
Susan x

koralee said...

My daughter always tells me worry is a sin...we need to give everything up to the Lord...I think she is one smart cookie. {it is hard to do when trouble consumes us} I love what I read in my bible the other day..."worry...will damage your health...disrupt your productivity and negatively affect the way you treat others and reduce your ability to trust in God. Here is the difference between worry and genuine concern...worry immobilizes but concern moves you to action."

Anita email account is not working for some I have not been able to send you any messages that can find me at for now....sending you oodles of love with some extra hugs. xoxo

Simplement ... said...

Anita, il me semble que tout ne va pas bien.
Je pense à toi ma chère amie et prie pour que les cieux redeviennent bleus dans ta vie.
Mille bisous d'amitié

Madelief said...

Oh Anita, I will be thinking of you and hoping with all my heart that all will be well!!!

You are right to think about beautiful things around me. It helps me too.

A big hug and kiss to you dear friend!

Madelief x

Privet and Holly said...

Praying hard for you.
Can't believe that could
think to post during this
critical time, although I
am sure that writing does
help as a distraction and
outlet for your emotions.
Keep us posted!

xo Suzanne

Privet and Holly said...

PS: Just read through this
post again and found the
small print at the bottom.

Hallelujah, I'm so happy
that your "negative" results
were able to bring sweet
peace of mind!

xo Suzanne

Lazy Daisy Jones said...

What a relief for you and all of us who love you!
The post is so clever you capture the feeling of if we were holding our breath...while we waited to come up for air with you....
Thank goodness...
(those words seem vague but my heart is with you at your happy news...)
daisy xxx

Renae of Simple Sequins said...

My Anita! Thank you for your sweet words on my comments. Yet, I didn't know you had a post up. Very nicely done. The music aided so much to the mood. It just helped it flow or gave it a feeling of being in a movie and your words were narrating the story as the pictures flowed. And ...I didn't know you had a concern for a CT? Was this recent or a previous experience? Those moments can be nerve wracking but this experience in the post seemed to not be nerve wracking for you at all.

Take care in prepping for your next school year experience. I wish you the very best year ever!!! (hug)

Debbie Mitchell said...

Really enjoyed your writing and the music and photographs.

Crystal Rose Cottage said...

Dear Anita, so glad to hear you had a negative result. Think of you often.
Big hugs,

Sylvia said...

My dearest friend,
I have been there ... and I admire you for expressing such a stressful life experience in such an artistic and positive way... But what is art if not medicine to the soul. I believed everything is going to be alright and I am more that happy to hear that the results are negative! Thinking of you and sending love and light!

Martina said...

Dearest Anita, SO HAPPY to hear that all is fine with you - thank god! But yes - moments like this one are part of life and you managed to see it that way and le your art be enriched by it - Nravo! Cheers to a light and playful day - after rain, wee need sunshine! xox

Anonymous said...

So relieved the results were negative. I've been there - so stressful in that moment. xo

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Dearest Anita,
You know I always have you in my heart and will always be here for you.
love you,

Loi Thai, Tone on Tone said...

What???? I take a few days off from the computer and come back to read: while waiting in the ct scan room.... Thank goodness it was negative. I hope you are well, Anita. Take care and enjoy the weekend ahead, my friend.
x Loi

June said...

I'm so happy to hear that it will all be okay Anita. Your post is full of beauty and comfort in words and images.
sending hugs...

erin said...

so scary....glad you are well.

vicki archer said...

Hoping that all will be bright and sunny soon... WHat a stressful, worrying time Anita... Please know that you are in my thoughts and let us know as soon as you can, how you are... Much love xxv

Vintage Home said...

So very thankful your results where negative.
Your poem and pictures evoke such emotion thankful that your diagnosis is as clear as the colours.
Beautifully written.

Denise said...

YEAH!!!!!! All is well.I did notice the tiny print :)

Beverley Burke said...

I just saw this post my lovely friend, and thank goodness you are ok. I miss you and you are in my thoughts many days. I hope that you continue in good health, and we get in touch again soon. Love and hugs xxx

therelishedroost said...

It will be okay, you are a centered free thinker and this will heal you no matter what the diagnosis! I have fingers crossed that the concern turns into nothing!!

Gem said...

First time I have read blogs for ages as been busy in the school hols. Was very shocked to read this but delighted it has had a happy ending. You look a completed true of health to me my dear. Wonderful prose.
Love x x xx x x x x. xx. x

Red Rose Alley said...

Thank you for the anniversary wishes today. It touched my heart very much. How are you??? I've been thinking about you lately.


Sonja Goodson said...

This has just made my day Anita! My heart sank as I began to read, and then the final line... I am sitting in Texas thanking God for the good report for my friend Anita!!

Isn't it true... it is so hard to keep that BALANCE when the outcome is uncertain. You have said it beautifully.

I loved the opening words...'worrying is like praying for what you don't want'.

Happy with you tonight!


Queen Of The Armchair aka Dzintra Stitcheries said...

Oh Anita you too are dear to me....thank you so much! Those little owls are just way tooooo can one resist! It's the weekend so let's enjoy....although I'm not the best with a cough that won't go away but at least my appetite is still here so a big Cheers to us...Love, Dzintra xo

The Magical Christmas Wreath Company said...

Anita! My heart was pounding reading that. I am so glad you are OK! Stay well, sending dreams your way. X

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Hello Anita,

I found you via Burlap Luxe...and so happy to find such a moving blog with words and images. I am very happy to know that you are fine...but I am sure the memory of those tense days of not knowing, may stay with you for a bit.

Just remember: It is all okay now.

Big hugs

francis said...

oh yes ...bless you my dear .
I keep my fingers crossed .
It's always special to see yourself and what it does with you ....
I will pray for you my friend !

Karen Harvey Cox said...


I will say a prayer that everything is okay. Such a scary thing. Wishing you be filled with the peace of God.


Katie Clooney said...

Anita... I have followed your beautiful blog for awhile. I hope your results are good. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Dearest Anita,
Thank you so much for coming over and leaving such a sweet note for Rosebub. Your encouraging words mean alot.

koralee said...

Morning dear one and happy weekend....we will be heading out soon for our little trip but will carry you in my heart. See you next week sometime. xoxox

Geralyn Adams said...

Gorgeously inspiring post and so happy to read your note at the bottom. Blessings to you :)

Pamela said...

Dear Sweet Anita,
The music you chose for this post is one that has seen me through many of the hardest times of my life. Chopin is brilliant and in this piece, you hear the breathtaking beauty of the notes, the clarity, and the heart flutters, . . . but at the end, he lands you into safety and calm, with a quiet peace in your soul.
All is well. You are held and loved. Sprinkling some stardust your way*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Geralyn Adams said...

Anita! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and for such encouraging and supportive words. I can already see what WONDERFUL people I can meet through this blog world. Thanks for being a blessing. Wishing continued blessings to you :)

speedyrabbit said...

beautiful done Anita,and I am happy you are ok,thank you for visiting us during Speedy's surgery ,it meant so much to us,xx Rachel

Leslie said...

Good Morning Anita! I am in Canada with my family and have a little internet access this moring so I'm popping in to say hi and thank you for visiting on my Girls Nite post:)


Vintage Jane said...

My heart was in my mouth as I read this and then I saw the last line. I am so glad the out come was a positive negative! I have been through the same thing and felt sick with worry but all was ok for me too. M x

Draffin Bears said...

Dear Anita,

I must have missed this post dear friend - so glad to read that the tests were negative.
A frightening experience as I had to have a biopsy a few years back and mine was negative also.
Many thanks for visiting me and wishing you a wonderful weekend, full of sunshine.

Sending hugs

francis said...

Hello my friend ...
Did you hear from the MRI ?
You have been doing a lot this summer and I am so proud you did .
You are always so encouraging to others but you are also LIVING it ..
showing and sharing it.
I hope all is well and you will have fun those last days before school .
Think of me because when you do , whenever where-ever I will be doing the same.......

Cobalt Violet said...

Congratulations on getting the results back and things being ok! It definitely puts things in perspective. I've had many a CT scan (9, I think) and I always go to Italy.